In the name of our Creator, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Forty resembles an adjourning point in your life, a point of introspection, presenting a level of maturity which embodies spirituality, wisdom, clarity, and responsibility.

In the pause, I smile, where feelings of blessings fill me and I am humbled. I reflect in a moment of time where the world is on pause, amidst so much unrest, uncertainty, fears, sadness, yet at the same time, we are in a period filled with so much opportunity for transformation, clarity, responsibility and spiritual awakening through introspection.

I ponder on this milestone which comes at a point in your life where you have lived long enough to have experienced a lot of this LIFE…I am humbled as I’ve been blessed with love, joy, sorrow, happiness, sadness, pain, struggle, achievements, humility, gratitude, travels, success, challenges, deaths, freedom, loss, grief, sickness, faith, birth, childhood, adulthood, friendships, marriage, divorce, forgiveness, parenthood and 2020 – a pandemic…and the list continues. Indicative that I have lived an exceptionally full 40 years. For this I say Algmd/all praise be to our Creator and I smile, a lump in my throat and a tear of gratitude rolling down my cheek.

An extension of these blessings was the gift from my Creator to perform my pilgrimage (Hajj 1440/2019) at 39, a humbling journey of tangible reflective moments, a culmination and juncture of this transformative 40-year journey, (Algmd/Praise be to our Creator).

I continue in my reflective pause and realise how it makes sense that at the age of 40 there is a level of mental maturity. Perhaps linked to the 40 years of getting to know yourself, getting to know the inner parts of your makeup. How you learn to love and embrace each part of you wholeheartedly. The beautiful journey of self-love.

I analyse and reflect on verse, 46:15: “And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful & kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him and the weaning of him is thirty months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one who ‘submits to your will’.”

In the silence of another early morning, I read this verse several times, what does this verse mean for me…It signifies some significance with the age of 40. The first part includes gratitude for the past 40 years of growth in maturity and strength (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). This reflection includes gratitude towards firstly our Creator and our parents. The latter, being at the mature age of 40, there is an exclamation of deep introspection, and a projection into the last phase of your life…how will you apply this wisdom personally and towards your children? How will you truly live your purpose and nurture your soul for the remainder of your life and beyond?

I reflect on my first love, my parents, the significant role of parents, the natural love placed between a parent and a child. One of the most beautiful and greatest gifts of love and blessings bestowed on us. Nothing I can say or do will be enough to display my deep appreciation and gratitude. My mom who I am blessed to still have in my life and my dad who will forever have a special place within me, may he attain Jannat, Inshallah, Ameen. As my eyes begin to glaze, I reflect on the amazing examples they have set, the unconditional love they have consistently displayed…; This gratitude extends to all those who played some role in my childhood…as the saying goes “It takes a village to raise a child…” I was blessed to have experienced both, with our immediate and extended family and family friends, Algmd;

As I reflect on the many life experiences which has touched me in some form, each bringing with it the myriad of lessons which has contributed to driving the introspection which has shaped the human I have become. My gratitude extends to those good and challenging experiences as each had its place. Each person a purpose…; To those who have played and continue to play an active, supportive role in my journey, here is to the best phase to come, Inshallah, Ameen;

My daughter who has undoubtedly contributed to teaching me what giving unconditional love means…a beautiful bundle balanced with strength, courage, and love; may she be blessed abundantly and going on the straight path, Inshallah, Ameen; I reflect on one of my favourite books Khalil Gibran:

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness: For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

Lastly, I reflect on the person I am, the person I have become over my 40 years of journeying our beautiful planet. In this moment, my heart is filled with immense gratitude, I am sincerely humbled by the blessings bestowed upon me, a sense of security and trust, a feeling of being embalmed by a love far greater and more powerful than any challenges I may ever be faced with…My heart is at peace simply because I have clarity on who I am and what my purpose is…Ultimate gratitude is to my Creator, the most Merciful, the most Compassionate, the most Wise, the most Loving, the most Kind, the Giver of gifts, the Opener, the All-knowing, the most Majestic…and every other one of his 99 names/attributes…

In the early morning silence and the warmth of this moment, humility and a sense of peace fills my being…The Majestic gift and cycle of LIFE. A beautiful journey of getting to know yourself;

“To know yourself, is to know your Creator” (Prophet Muhammad, PBUH).

All Praise be to our Creator!

FJ❤️